Dark Night of the Soul

Nov 4, 2020
4 min read

What do we do in a season of the dark night? It's not easy, but it's necessary for a transformation beyond understanding.

Recently I was introduced to this idea of a "dark night of the soul." If you've never heard of this before, it's a confusing season that many Christians experience at least once in their life. Essentially, God doesn't feel present in your everyday life and he has withheld certain blessings from you. But. This is not necessarily a bad thing because through this dark night of the soul, God is testing your faith, he's purposely taking away the feeling of his presence so that you may learn to trust in him. If you're not sure if you are in a dark night of the soul, evaluate whether or not underneath this darkness you still feel a true and deep desire for God. If you do, then there is a good chance that you are in the midst of a dark night. The outcome of this season of life is that God is slowly bringing you closer to him in an even more intimate way than you've experienced before. By the end of it, you will have a renewed sense of peace and understanding of God. If you want to learn more about the dark night, there is a really good podcast that a close friend showed me, which covers it in depth. I'll attach the link here.

Personally, I believe I have had a little taste of a dark night within the past few months. It hasn't been fun in any way, but I can say that I am becoming more and more intimate with God because of it. My dark night began with experiencing anxiety to such an extent that I couldn't focus in class, I always worried about going places or spending time with people--all I wanted to do was hide out in my dorm and do everything remotely. Although, I am grateful for not reaching any panic attacks. During this time, I felt lost and confused and I wasn't sure if God was telling me to switch colleges or quit altogether. (I also want to clarify that I am still in the midst of transformation and dealing with anxiety, but it's getting better). Even though I wasn't doing the greatest, one thing's for sure: I still wanted more of Jesus. I can't really give a good explanation about how I still felt this way, even though it seemed like anxiety was drowning me on a daily basis. I hardly felt God around me, but I knew he was still there because he's never let me down and I knew that he wouldn't this time either. I also had to remember that you can't control a dark night; all you can do is walk through it and trust that God is transforming you through that process.

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35 (NIV)

Just like Jesus went through trials and died on a cross, we also go through times of struggle and testing (though that still doesn't do his pain justice). Sometimes we feel lost and feel like the world is spinning, but all we can do is watch it turn, numb to the constant pain or confusion. We ask, "Where is God?" "Why hasn't he shown up for awhile?" The thing is... he's always been there and maybe it's not that he's being silent--maybe we are the ones traveling farther away from him. The verse above shows that Jesus went out in the midst of darkness to pray to his Father. Even when he was dying on the cross, he prayed. Nothing is too hard for us to get through, and our pain could never compare with what He went through. His love is abundant and even though dark nights don't seem like a form of love, we can see it as God letting his children walk on their own for a short time to see if they will find their way back to their Father. Will they pray for direction to find Him again? Will they make the right choices when they are on their own? Will they actively search for God just as a child searches for their father in a game of hide and seek? God wants us to find him again and in the process, he places challenges in our path so that we may understand that we cannot do this by mere human strength, we need a God who will guide us and protect us.

It would be too easy for God to hold our hand every step of the way; we must endure the hardships to appreciate the blessings he gives us. Otherwise, we would take everything for granted. By choosing to be like Christ even through our low points, it shows God how much we desire to be close to Him because we are resisting the pressure of this world in order to remain faithful. If you are struggling through a dry season or even a dark night, remember that God has a reason for everything. The dark night of the soul is just one example of his intimate working within us in the midst of hardship. There are so many other times that may not make sense to how we feel, but God knows exactly what he is doing. He has you in his best interest. I pray that you would feel the Holy Spirit stirring in your soul so that you can recognize God's calling on your life and become closer to Him than you've been before. In a world of so much distress and spiritual need, we need people to rise up with the Truth. Allow God to work in you so that you may come out stronger and more equipped to prepare this world for what is to come. It won't be painless and it probably won't be fast, but his Promise is greater than our current circumstances. Take pride in His love for you. He will always support you, whether that be through the greatest moments of your life or through a dark night of the soul.